Meet Tenay Barker, a non-binary model who came to our studio and did a boudoir session for the first time. Hear them talk about their boudoir experience as a non-binary model in the boudoir space.
https://www.instagram.com/10Athemodel
Transcript below: What's up, everyone?
My name's Tenay.
Super excited to be talking to you today about me being a non binary model and
doing boudoir for the very first time, so I'm super excited to come to you this this
pride month to happy pride everyone, LGBTQ plus community and I'm excited just to
share my experience so a little bit about me.
I'm my pronouns.
I'm my pronouns.
Are they them?
Identify as a non binary masculine lesbian.
I'm 26 years old.
I'm originally from Austin, TX, but I live currently.
Now in Seattle, I am a software engineer for a big tech company here in Seattle and
outside of that I do a lot of boxing.
Ohh so again I'm super excited to be talking to you about my experience being a non
I do a lot of weight lifting fitness and I also have a beautiful loving girlfriend over in
SoCal as well as a dog.
So my little fur baby Ren.
Ohh so again I'm super excited to be talking to you about my experience being a non
binary model and what that is like also being in boudoir.
People usually think of boudoir as a super sexy, feminine, almost submissive, like
you gotta be in lingerie like nudity.
Kind of, you know, outlet in modeling and photography.
Ohh, like yes it is that.
But I would love to get my representation for masculine identifying people and
masculine expressing people in that space and just know that yes, I am masculine.
That is my expression, but my identity doesn't mean that I am trans, so I don't
identify in the trans community because I'm not actively trying to transition.
So my identity doesn't deal with my expression, so that's why I say I'm a masculine
nonbinary lesbian.
But again, there's so much about this industry about being a model, especially when
I'm nonbinary.
Uh, that, you know, we don't really see in the in the modeling industry and in the
photography industry and so that's why I try to bring it and to know a little bit about
me, you got to know where it came from.
You know, I came from Austin, TX, you know, Austin might seem like this cool liberal
city and it is, but I grew up on the outskirts where very much of gender roles and
heteronormativity was pretty much what you came to grow up in.
You know, you go to college, you meet a nice guy, you get married, you have
babies.
And so I basically said **** that because I didn't see myself wanting that life for me.
And so when I figured out that I was gay, I was like, ohh yeah, no, I don't want that.
And over the time has passed, and over the years I've discovered that you know
what, I am definitely not someone who identifies as a man or a woman.
So that's how I figured out that was on nonbinary.
So non binary, all that means is that I don't fully identify as a man.
I don't fully identify as a woman.
Some people who identify as nonbinary might identify with both, or they identify with
neither.
I'm more of I don't identify with neither one of them.
That's why I use they them pronouns.
So that's where I grew up in and that's how I figured out who I was.
So moving to the West Coast and being exposed to so many other different identified
people and some amazing, amazing people that had beautiful lives and expressed
themselves in a very duthac way.
And I've always strived to be my authentic self.
When I worked, you know, in my defense job and now coming and working at my
current job, I've been out and proud for so many years now and I'm so happy to be
out at work and be supported by my peers, by my managers and by my entirely
worship team for being an openly and active voice for the LGBTQ community in my
in my company.
So yeah, that's that's really what it's important and and and why I wanna bring more
inclusivity and visibility for our my type of people.
You know also being Latin X and being a female at birth and identifying previously as
a woman.
I wanna give more representation for us, especially in the case you don't see that
and then now coming into modeling, modeling same thing, you really don't see
people like me a lot in modeling and I wanted to bring more of that masculinity.
But femininity as well, you know a little bit of androgyny here and there, but I love
being able to portray both aspects and then also redoing what it means to be a
masculine model.
So boudoir was my step into that.
I was really, really nervous to do boudoir because I'm a very happy bubbly, you
know?
Do you know?
Kind of personality and I don't really see myself like showing off my body.
I I can get a little insecure about some areas, right?
And so being able to put myself in a space where I was like, OK, let me do
something that I'm uncomfortable with, but I really wanna try because I really wanna
see if I can do it and working with Angela from the get go.
She's in a super professional and super accommodating and welcoming.
Made my experience super comfortable and I felt super confident in anything and
every shot that we were taking.
And so I really enjoyed my experience doing boudoir for the first time and it made me
feel so sexy and made me feel so confident, you know, like, yes, I was doing this for
myself because I wanted to try and see if I could look sultry.
Look desirable.
Look hot.
Look sexy.
Ohh and you know it's also a little bit from my girlfriend not gonna lie, but being able
to do that with with her is with so much fun.
And I was able to really like, you know, show off my body.
And I didn't think I would want to do as much as I did.
And I thought I was gonna be a lot more awkward, to be honest.
And I wasn't cause again.
I wasn't a very safe space and so for people who are massive, identifying or non
binary or identify and you know whether they identify the man, just know that boudoir
is not just for females.
It's not just for women.
It's not just for people who want to be sexy in lingerie.
It is for people like us.
It is for people who are masculine.
If you wanna flex and show off your muscles and you wanna look good and you
wanna, you know, create that desire, that dominance that powerful like stance that
you have.
That's what Bouchoir is boudoir is about.
Feeling sexy and confident in yourself?
Showing that love towards yourself, identifying and seeing yourself being like, wow, I
almost turned myself on a little bit and that's OK.
So it's really been a great experience doing this.
I would have loved to do boudoir again.
I think it was so much fun and so I hope I get the opportunity to do it again.
Hopefully, maybe with Angela again in the future.
I would love to do with my girlfriend.
I think Boudoir is a something that people don't understand because you just think of
nudity and you think of showing off your body and like it can be that.
But I think it's also about creating powerfulness.
It's about creating your confidence.
It's about showing who you are and seeing yourself in a different light.
You know, seeing myself dramatic and Moody and just being able to have this
dominant being this like, yeah, I come here, kind of kind of vibe.
Whoo.
Whoo, it took me.
It took me back for a second, so I really highly recommended for anyone who is
wanting to get out of their comfort zone, do something new, try something new to try
to doing boudoir and do it for yourself.
You know, if you wanna do it for yourself or you do it for your partner or girlfriend,
boyfriend, wife, husband, whoever it may be, do it.
You know, get outside your comfort zone.
Be your authentic self.
You don't have to wear lingerie if you're masculine.
You can wear a sports bra and boxers if that's what you feel comfortable in, you
know, be comfortable in who you are.
Be your authentic self and bring your authentic self into this photography into this
modeling experience, because that's really gonna make it feel so much more
comfortable for yourself.
So it's all I can really say about it.
You have to really try to experience fully, so I hope everyone does.
And with that, you know, thanks again for hopefully listening.
I hope that I've given some visibility for people like me and hope I can encourage you
to do something that's really, really fun for yourself.
And yeah, happy pride.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Pride month and I will be catching you all soon.