Turning 40 and stripping down. Wow. I never thought that sentence would include me.
Let me tell you a little secret: I used to be that girl. You know, the one who refused to show even a hint of shoulder or a glimpse of stomach or even a thigh in public. My wardrobe was an eclectic mix of t-shirts, turtlenecks, and long skirts. The idea of showing any more skin than absolutely necessary made me think I was a useless sinner and the thought of the amount of shame I would feel would be unbearable.
But then, something miraculous (and a little terrifying) happened—I turned 40.
As this milestone birthday loomed closer, I began to feel a shift. Maybe it was the realization that life is too short to be spent hiding, feeling shameful, or not liking my body. Or maybe it was the fact that I had spent years helping other women feel beautiful and confident in their own skin as a boudoir photographer. Whatever it was, it pushed me to do something I never thought I’d have the guts to do: my OWN boudoir photoshoot.
Yes, you read that right. I decided to turn the camera on myself and embrace every curve, wrinkle, scar, and (gasp) stretch mark. And not only did I do the shoot, but I posted it for the entire world to see. Talk about total PLOT TWIST!
Now, let me be real for a second. I did not go into this photoshoot expecting to love the results. In fact, I was convinced that I would hate every single photo because—full disclosure—I’ve gained some weight over the past few years. And like many women, I’ve had a complicated relationship with food and my body for as long as I can remember.
But to my surprise, I didn’t hate the photos! I actually ended up loving them. Who knew?
There I was, in all my 40-year-old glory, staring at images of a woman who looked POWERFUL, sexy, and unapologetically HERSELF. I couldn’t believe that woman was me. And it felt good. Not just the "I just had a giant slice of chocolate cake" kind of good, but the kind of good that comes from finally letting go of all the negative self-talk and fully embracing who you are, flaws and all.
I realized that I had spent so many years living in fear and worrying about what other people thought of my body when, in reality, it didn’t matter. The only opinion that mattered was MINE. And now, here I was, choosing to love my body instead of constantly criticizing it.
Doing my own boudoir photoshoot was one of the most empowering experiences of my life. It allowed me to see myself in a new light and appreciate my body for everything it is and does, rather than focusing on what it isn’t. Was I nervous? Hell yeah! But did I just do the darn thing even though I was terrified? Yep, and it was TOTALLY worth it.
So here’s my challenge to you: If you’ve ever felt like you’re not enough, or if you’ve ever hidden away parts of yourself because you were afraid of what others might think, take a page out of my book. Embrace your body, flaws and all. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 40, or 80—there’s never a wrong time to start loving yourself.
And hey, if I can strip down for a boudoir photoshoot at 40, there’s nothing stopping you from doing the same. Let’s all embrace our inner goddesses and show the world what we’re made of - turtlenecks optional.
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